joke joke joke
+10
mark_simplicidad
francisden
rambo
allet_29
karasu
wannabemysekirei
solwaysta
mclixill
jiloh-shi
jiloh-live
14 posters
Page 5 of 7
Page 5 of 7 • 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7
Re: joke joke joke
hahaha ako din nman eh..
yaan mo na, kaw nlng magpost ng joke ndi yang puro ka spam...
eto pa:
LASTWISH!!
yaan mo na, kaw nlng magpost ng joke ndi yang puro ka spam...
eto pa:
LASTWISH!!
- Spoiler:
Just before he died, he said to his wife, "When I die, I wantyou to take all my money and put it in the casket with me. Iwant to take my money to the after life with me."
And so he got his wife to promise him - with all of her heart -that when he died, she would put all of the money in the casketwith him.
Well, he died. He was stretched out in the casket, his wife wassitting there in black, and her friend was sitting next to her.
When they finished the ceremony, just before the undertakers gotready to close the casket, the wife said, "Wait just a minute!"She had a box with her, she came over with the box and put it inthe casket. Then the undertakers locked the casket down, andthey rolled it away.
So her friend said, "Girl, I know you weren't fool enough toput all that money in there with your husband!"
She said, "Listen, I'm a Christian, I can't go back on my word.I promised him that I was gonna put that money in that casketwith him."
"You mean to tell me, you put ALL that money in the casket with him? To be buried? Forever?"
"I sure did," said the wife, "I wrote him a CHECK! If he canencash it, he can spend it."
Re: joke joke joke
..lol..
..nya ha..
..hahahah..
..my BANGKO B DUN??...
..nya ha..
..hahahah..
..my BANGKO B DUN??...
jhemae- klasmeyt ***
- Number of posts : 461
Age : 38
Job/hobbies : BASKETBALL(kailangan p bng imemorize YAN!!)
status : i'm freakin hot ^.^
Registration date : 2008-11-08
e: joke joke joke
tindera
tindira: HOII!kahit nagtitinda lang ako ng juice dito may mga anak ako na nasa UP, UV, UC, USC, USJR ug STC.
student:WOW!anong course nila?
tindira:wala!nagtitinda rin ng juicce..
nyahaha!.
tindira: HOII!kahit nagtitinda lang ako ng juice dito may mga anak ako na nasa UP, UV, UC, USC, USJR ug STC.
student:WOW!anong course nila?
tindira:wala!nagtitinda rin ng juicce..
nyahaha!.
rambo- klasmeyt **
- Number of posts : 197
Age : 38
Job/hobbies : magWALA!!! at MANGGULO!! MagLARO ng PW
status : i'm freakin hot ^.^
Registration date : 2008-11-06
Re: joke joke joke
..uu nga aman..
..mana sa ina..
..nya ha..
..mana sa ina..
..nya ha..
jhemae- klasmeyt ***
- Number of posts : 461
Age : 38
Job/hobbies : BASKETBALL(kailangan p bng imemorize YAN!!)
status : i'm freakin hot ^.^
Registration date : 2008-11-08
Re: joke joke joke
10 commandments
rod: TL, anu po ba ang 10 commandments?
TL: rod yun ang mga sampung utos sa atin ng ating Diyos.
rod: ganun po?!?mabuti pa ang Diyos sampu lgn ang utos eh kayo po ang dami2x....hahahaha...
rod: TL, anu po ba ang 10 commandments?
TL: rod yun ang mga sampung utos sa atin ng ating Diyos.
rod: ganun po?!?mabuti pa ang Diyos sampu lgn ang utos eh kayo po ang dami2x....hahahaha...
rambo- klasmeyt **
- Number of posts : 197
Age : 38
Job/hobbies : magWALA!!! at MANGGULO!! MagLARO ng PW
status : i'm freakin hot ^.^
Registration date : 2008-11-06
Re: joke joke joke
Mahiyain
bkit ANG biiK PaG kUmAkaIn NkAYuko?Kc NAHihIYA,bABoY aNG nNaY NyA....BkiT aNG sisiW pag KuMakaiN NkaYuKO?Kc NhIhiYa,nAnAY NyA My ItLog TtaY Nya wALa.......BkIt AnG KbAyO PaG kUmAKaIN NkAyuKO?......Kc NhiHiYa......TaTay NYa nKA bRieF NagLaLaKaD PrO NkLABaS aNG iTLoG,,,,,,,..........
bkit ANG biiK PaG kUmAkaIn NkAYuko?Kc NAHihIYA,bABoY aNG nNaY NyA....BkiT aNG sisiW pag KuMakaiN NkaYuKO?Kc NhIhiYa,nAnAY NyA My ItLog TtaY Nya wALa.......BkIt AnG KbAyO PaG kUmAKaIN NkAyuKO?......Kc NhiHiYa......TaTay NYa nKA bRieF NagLaLaKaD PrO NkLABaS aNG iTLoG,,,,,,,..........
rambo- klasmeyt **
- Number of posts : 197
Age : 38
Job/hobbies : magWALA!!! at MANGGULO!! MagLARO ng PW
status : i'm freakin hot ^.^
Registration date : 2008-11-06
Re: joke joke joke
..uu hahabol yan..
..totoong spammer yan eh..
..totoong spammer yan eh..
jhemae- klasmeyt ***
- Number of posts : 461
Age : 38
Job/hobbies : BASKETBALL(kailangan p bng imemorize YAN!!)
status : i'm freakin hot ^.^
Registration date : 2008-11-08
Re: joke joke joke
ENGLISH TO FILIPINO
AMERICAN ENGLISH:
Eat All You Can, don't be shy, feel at home!
IN TAGALOG:
kain lang kayo ng kain, walanghiya kayo, pakiramdam nyo bahay nyo to!
hirap talga convert english sa tagalog by words.. sumasama..
AMERICAN ENGLISH:
Eat All You Can, don't be shy, feel at home!
IN TAGALOG:
kain lang kayo ng kain, walanghiya kayo, pakiramdam nyo bahay nyo to!
hirap talga convert english sa tagalog by words.. sumasama..
rambo- klasmeyt **
- Number of posts : 197
Age : 38
Job/hobbies : magWALA!!! at MANGGULO!! MagLARO ng PW
status : i'm freakin hot ^.^
Registration date : 2008-11-06
Re: joke joke joke
..lahat my vip mark ah????..
jhemae- klasmeyt ***
- Number of posts : 461
Age : 38
Job/hobbies : BASKETBALL(kailangan p bng imemorize YAN!!)
status : i'm freakin hot ^.^
Registration date : 2008-11-08
Famous Lines
Gawan kya ntin ng blind item ung mga famous lines na yan..?
paclick nung spoiler..
paclick nung spoiler..
- Spoiler:
"You never even thank me for making you happy, then you
throw me away just like that. I hate you for using me, for making my life full of shit!"
- Toilet Paper
--?
"Hindi lahat ng malakas, super hero!"
- Putok
--isma..?
"Bakit ba pati ako, binibigyan nyo ng malisya? Ano ba ang kasalanan ko?!"
-Talong
--?
"Halika, bigyan mo pa ako ng init. Kailangan kong pumutok
para ako'y iyong matikman at ika'y masarapan. Ayan na! Puputok na! Humanda ka!"
- Popcorn
"Hindi ko hinahangad na ipagmalaki mo na ako'y sa iyo. Ayoko
lang naman na sa harap ng maraming tao, ganun mo na lang ako
itanggi!"
- Utot
"Hindi lahat ng hinog ay matamis!"
- Pigsa
"Paano tayo makakabuo kung hindi ako papatong sa iyo?"
- Lego
"I ikspik that it will be a long payt, a good payt, But you know,
I didn't ikspik. Tinks por da God, you know, and tinks por ol da
pelepeno pipo!"
- Manny Pacquiao.
"Hindi lahat ng bubuyog, kulay itim!"
- Jollibee
"You can cry all you want, you could always blame me. You
said, it wasn't fair that you just want life to be better. But remember,
it's all your fault! You stabbed me with a knife!"
- Sibuyas
--?
"Isubo mo ang kahabaan ko. Dilaan. Sipsipin. Paglaruan sa
bibig mo. Para lumabas ang katas ko na kinasabikan mo. Nag mamahal,"
- Ice Candy
"Hindi lahat na walang salawal ay bastos!"
- Winnie d' Pooh
"Ayoko na! Pag nagmamahal ako, lagi na lang maraming tao
ang nagagalit! Wala ba akong karapatang magmahal?!"
-Gasolina
--hahaha!!
"Hindi lahat ng maasim may vitamin C"
- Kili kili
"Pilitin mo man na alisin ako sa buhay mo, babalik at babalik
ako!
- Libag
"Anong kasalanan ko sa iyo, iniwan mo na lang akong
duguan..."
- Sanitary Napkin
"Hwag mo na akong bilugin.."
- Kulangot
"Bwisit na buhay ito! Araw-araw na lang, itlog! Umaga, tanghali, gabi, itlog! Itlog! Itlog! Lagi na lang itlog!"
- Brief
"Sige, kalimutan mo ako para malaman ng iba ang baho mo!
- Deodorant
"Kahit papaano, gusto ko din ng exposure!"
- Singit
"Panakip butas mo lang pala ako!".
- Panty
"Hindi ako lasing!!"
- Pol
Korning nars..
UWENTONG P.G.H. On Medical Terminology (Actual sentences found in patient's medical charts at the Philippine General Hospital):
- Spoiler:
- 1. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.
2. On the second day the knee was better, and on the third day it
disappeared.
3. She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was
very hot in bed last night.
4. The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to
be depressed.
5. The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993.
6. Discharge status: Alive but without permission.
7. The patient refused autopsy.
8. The patient has no previous history of suicides.
9. She is numb from her toes down.
10. While in ER, she was examined, X-rated and sent home.
11. The skin was moist and dry.
12. Occasional, constant, infrequent headaches.
13. Patient was alert and unresponsive.
14. Rectal examination revealed a normal size thyroid.
15. She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life,
until she got a divorce.
16. The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.
17. The patient was to have a bowel resection. However, he took
a job as a stockbroker instead.
18. Skin: somewhat pale but present.
19. Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities.
************ ********
Sa PGH, may tinatawag na Central Block. andoon ang Radiology
Department kung saan ginagawa ang mga X-rays, Ultrasound, CT Scan
at Radiotheraphy. Dito ko naobserbahan ang evolution ng mga Pinoy
medical terms. May mga pasyente o bantay na aking nasasalubong, ang
madalas magtanong ng direksyon. Mga versions ng CT Scan:
1. "Doc saan po ba ang Siete Scan?"
2. "Doc saan po ba magpapa-CT Skull"
3. "Doc saan po ba CT Scalp"
4. "Doc saan po ang CT Scam?"
************ ********
Madalas akong mapagtanungan ng direction papunta sa Cobalt Room.
"Doc saan po ba ang Cobal?" Yes, laging walang 'T'.
Marami ang gumagamit sa term na Cobal. Saan napunta ang 'T"?
Marami din kasing nagtatanong, "Doc, saan po ba ang papuntang
X-Tray?"
Conclusion: Ang 'T' ng Cobalt, ay napunta sa X-Tray.
************ ********
7:00 am: Nagbigay ang kasamahan kong doktor ng Instruction sa bantay
ng pasyente, "Mister, punta po kayo sa Central Block at magpa-schedule
kayo ng X-ray ng pasyente ninyo."
3:00 pm. Kadarating lang ng bantay. Nagalit na ang Doktor.
"Mister, bakit naman napakatagal ninyong bumalik? Pina-schedule ko
lang naman ang X-ray, ah."
Sumagot ang bantay, "Eh kasi po Doc, ang tagal kong naghintay sa gate,
haggang sabihin ng guwardiya na sarado daw po ang Central Bank kasi
Sabado ngayon." ( Nasa Roxas Blvd ang Bangko Sentral ng Pilipinas, at
sarado nga naman yon kapag Sabado)!
************ *******
Nang mag-rotate ako as intern sa Pediatrics ng PGH, mahal na mahal
talaga ng mga nanay ang kanilang mga anak na may sakit. Pilit nilang
tinatandaan ang mga gamot at tawag sa sakit ng kanilang anak.
Doktor: "Mrs. ano po ang mga gamot na iniinom ng anak niyo?"
Mrs 1 : "Doc phenobarbiedoll po."
Doktor: "Ah baka po phenobarbital. " (Gamot sa convulsion ang
Phenobarbital)
**********
Doktor: "Mrs. ano po ba ang antibiotic na iniinom ng anak ninyo?"
Mrs 2: "Doc metromanilazole po."
Doktor: "Ah baka po metronidazole. " (Gamot sa amoeba ang
Metronidazole)
**********
Ang tawag sa recovery room ng PGH ay PACU
(Post-Anesthesia Care Unit)
Doktor: "Mrs., tapos na po ang operasyong ng anak ninyo, punta na po
kayo sa PACU
Mrs 3: "Eh Doc, saan po sa Paco? Sa may simbahan po ba o sa may
palengke?"
***********
Doktor: "Mrs. ano po ba ang sinabi ng dating doktor kung ano daw ang
ang sakit ng inyong anak?"
Mrs 4: "Eh Doc sabi po niya Tragedy of Fallot.
Doktor: "Ah baka po Tetralogy of Fallot (Isang Congenital Heart Disease
ang Tetralogy of Fallot)
************
Biglang nagtatarang ang isang nanay at sumigaw.
Mrs: "Scissors! Scissors! Nag-sciscissors ang anak ko, Doc!"
Doktor: "Nurse, diazepam please, nag-seizure ang pasyente!"
************
Doktor: "Mrs. ano daw po ba ang sakit ng anak ninyo?"
Mrs. 6 : May ketong daw po.
In-examine ng doktor ang balat ng pasyente. Wala siyang makitang
senyales ng ketong. Tumawag pa siya ng isang Dermatologist para
mag-examine nang husto. Wala talaga.
Doktor: "Mrs. sigurado po ba kayong ketong ang sakit ng bata?"
Mrs : "Eh iyon po ang sabi ng doktor niya dati. Mataas daw po
ang ketong sa ihi dahil may diabetes."
Doktor: "Ah ketone po yon! (Ang positive ketone sa Ihi ay senyales ng
kumplikasyon ng diabetes.)
************
Doktor: (Tanong sa buntis na Mrs. na nagle-labor)
"Mrs.pumutok na po ba ang panubigan mo?"
Mrs: "Eh, Doc, wala naman po akong narinig na pagsabog!"
Re: joke joke joke
violator ako hahha
sana d pa to napopost!!
- Spoiler:
- This is a true story. Last week was my 40th birthday and I really didn’t feel like waking up that morning. I managed to pull myself together and go downstairs for breakfast, hoping my wife would be pleasant and say, “Happy Birthday!”, and possibly have a small present for me. As it turned out, she barely said good morning, let alone “Happy Birthday.” I thought… Well, that’s marriage for you, but the kids… They will remember.
My kids came trampling down the stairs to breakfast, ate their breakfast, and didn’t say a word to me. So when I made it out of the house and started for work, I felt pretty dumpy and despondent.
As I walked into my office, my secretary Joanne said, “Good Morning Boss, and by the way Happy Birthday!” It felt a bit better knowing that at least someone remembered. I worked in a zombie like fashion until about one o’clock, when Joanne knocked on my door and said, “You know, it’s such a beautiful day outside, and it’s your Birthday, why don’t we go out for lunch, just you and me.” I said, “Thanks, Joanne, that’s the best thing I’ve heard all day. Let’s go!”
We went to lunch but not where we’d normally go. Instead she took me to a quiet bistro with a private table. We had a couple of mixed drinks and I enjoyed the meal tremendously. On the way back to the office, Joanne said, “You know, It’s such a beautiful day… We don’t have to go right back to the office, do we?” I replied with “I suppose not. What do you have in mind?” She said, “Let’s go to my apartment, it’s just around the corner.”
After arriving at her apartment, Joanne turned to me and said, “Boss if you don’t mind, I’m goinna to step into the bedroom for just a moment. I’ll be right back.” “Ok.” I nervously replied. She went into the bedroom and, after a couple of minutes, she came out carrying a huge birthday cake…
Followed by my wife, my kids, and dozens of my friends, and co-workers, all singing “Happy Birthday”.
And I just sat there…
On the couch…
Naked.
sana d pa to napopost!!
Re: joke joke joke
grabe ngayon ko lang to nabasa.. ntawa ko sobra hahaha
mark_simplicidad wrote:eto pa isa pang joke...
3 koweefayvfor naging hunters!!
- Spoiler:
May 3 koweefayvfor na naging hunters ang nahuli ng mga cannibals sa gubat.
dinala sila sa harap ng
tribal chief para siya ang pupugot ng ulo. nagmakaawa
yung mga hunters.
naawa naman yung chief.
Chief: sige hindi namin kayo papatayin, sa isang
kondisyon. kailangan
isa-isa kayong mangolekta ng 10 pirasong prutas.
dalhin nyo iyon dito at
saka ko sasabihin ang sunod nyong gagawin.
naghiwa-hiwalay ang tatlong magkakaibigan. unang
dumating si TonTon,
dala-dala'y 10 oranges.
Chief: ngayon, ipasok mo ang lahat ng mga prutas na
iyan sa iyong puwet.
kailangan ay hindi magbabago ang mukha mo. konting
ngiwi o ngiti lang ay
pupugutan ka agad namin ng ulo.
unang orange pa lang ang pinapasok ay napa-sigaw agad
si TonTon. agad
siyang pinugutan ng ulo. sunod na dumating ay si Juan,
dala-dala'y 10
lansones. tuwang-tuwa siya ng in-explain sa kanya nung
Chief kung ano ang
kailangan nyang gawin.
Juan: sus! sisiw lang pala. kayang-kaya! buti na lang
maliit na prutas ang
kino-lekta ko.
naipasok ni Juan ang mga lansones sa kanyang puwit ng
walang problema.
ngunit nung asa pang-10 prutas na siya, bigla siyang
napatawa. pugot-ulo
agad si Chief.
pagkamatay ay napunta agad si Juan sa langit kung saan
nakita niya si
TonTon. nagkausap ang dalawa.
TonTon: sayang Juan! pinapanood kita dito sa langit
habang ginagawa mo yung
utos. isang lansones na lang hindi mo pa tiniis! buhay
ka pa sana ngayon.
ano bang nangyari sayo?
Juan: pare, ang dali-dali ngang ipasok nung mga
lansones. kaso, nung
matatapos na ako bigla kong nakita si pareng Mari --
may dala-dalang 10
langka!
Re: joke joke joke
ahaha may nbasa nko ganyan story, actually kakabasa ko lng knina. pero iba title pero preho setup... survivor ata ung title... ahihih.... ala lng may msabi lng... la p ko alam n funny stories... maghahanap ako... ahihihi... !n!,c",).!n!
jepoy22- klasmeyt *
- Number of posts : 267
Age : 38
Job/hobbies : content editor/playing OL games reading
status : !n!,c\",).!n!
Registration date : 2008-11-13
Re: joke joke joke
eto try lng !n!,c",).!n!
Style ni misis
Misis1: pano mo napapauwi ng maaga si mister mo?
Misis2: text ko sya...
Misis1: Ano tinitext mo?
Misis2: Sex starts at 7pm... with or without you!
hahahaha!!!!! =)
Style ni misis
Misis1: pano mo napapauwi ng maaga si mister mo?
Misis2: text ko sya...
Misis1: Ano tinitext mo?
Misis2: Sex starts at 7pm... with or without you!
hahahaha!!!!! =)
jepoy22- klasmeyt *
- Number of posts : 267
Age : 38
Job/hobbies : content editor/playing OL games reading
status : !n!,c\",).!n!
Registration date : 2008-11-13
Re: joke joke joke
ETO PA... TRY lng
Ay! Buntis?
Anak:nay! buntis ako!
nanay:hindi ka buntis!
A:nasusuka ako!
N:hindi ka buntis!
A:gusto ko ng maasim! buntis ako!
N:isa pa't dudurugin ko BAYAG mo! =)
Ay! Buntis?
Anak:nay! buntis ako!
nanay:hindi ka buntis!
A:nasusuka ako!
N:hindi ka buntis!
A:gusto ko ng maasim! buntis ako!
N:isa pa't dudurugin ko BAYAG mo! =)
jepoy22- klasmeyt *
- Number of posts : 267
Age : 38
Job/hobbies : content editor/playing OL games reading
status : !n!,c\",).!n!
Registration date : 2008-11-13
Re: joke joke joke
SM, Simpleng manyak...
Mister umuwi galing trabaho..
Misis: O bakit ka may black eye! dalawa pa
Mister: E kasi yung babae dun sa Mall eh! nanapak!
Misis: Anu ba gnawa mo?
Mister: Nakita ko kasi sya na nakaipit yung skirt nya sa gitna nang pwet nya.. yun hinila ko!
tapos sinapak ako
Misis: Nge, e bat dalawa black eye mo?
Mister: akala ko kasi gusto nya nakaipit eh kaya sinuksok ko Uli!
Mister umuwi galing trabaho..
Misis: O bakit ka may black eye! dalawa pa
Mister: E kasi yung babae dun sa Mall eh! nanapak!
Misis: Anu ba gnawa mo?
Mister: Nakita ko kasi sya na nakaipit yung skirt nya sa gitna nang pwet nya.. yun hinila ko!
tapos sinapak ako
Misis: Nge, e bat dalawa black eye mo?
Mister: akala ko kasi gusto nya nakaipit eh kaya sinuksok ko Uli!
dreamer_288- klasmeyt *
- Number of posts : 76
Age : 38
Job/hobbies : SAP-Jr. Software Developer Analyst
status : i'm freakin hot ^.^
Registration date : 2008-11-06
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